I find myself in a familiar place; a little late and a bit overwhelmed. I think that I have even posted about this in the past. My Saturdays have become "me time", or at least for the most part. I sleep in (6:30a) and when I wake up, I give myself about 5 min to take it all in. This is my day. A day to go at my pace. No alarm, no rush to get dogs out, no turning on the phone to make work related up-dates....just what I want to do. I grab my IPod, put on some workout clothes, and take the girls for a walk. Before I do that, I tune into my Podcast of Tara Brach. She has a soft, meditating voice that not only puts you at ease, but also draws in your attention.
Today, I chose the topic of "Trusting Who We Are". In her Podcast she speaks on a full life- freeing ourselves from what we perceive as "the moment". Could we die right now and feel as if we are fulfilled? What is the fulfillment? She goes on to speak that we don't trust ourselves- this chronic person needs to work something out so that he/she can feel as if they are in the "moment".
We run around in our day to day tasks in order to have a job, cloth our children, have a roof over our head but never really enjoy it all. I know that I feel as if I have to get something done in order to do something else- as if a task begets a task and begets another one. One thing to really ask yourself might be, "Who do you think you are?" Sometimes we don't feel as if we don't deserve to be happy or to rest. We always think that we have to do more in order to be a better person. When can we say, "enough, is enough."
I share with you this prayer (adopted from the Podcast):
So far today I have done alright. I haven't gossiped or greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over indulgent and I'm very thankful for that. But in a couple minutes god, I'm going to have to get out of bed, and from then on I'm going to need a lot of help.